Next was a guy in his mid-20s who had last showered in junior high school and had come to court wearing an MTV Spring Break t-shirt.Attorney 1: Mrs. Jenkins, you say that your son has been the victim of a crime similar to the one involved in this case. Do you think that would keep you from rendering an impartial verdict in this matter?
Mrs. Jenkins: There’s no way I can be objective when it comes to scumbags like the guy you’re defending.
Attorney 1: She’s acceptable, your honor.
Attorney 2: Mr. Belton, have you or anyone in your family ever been involved in an automobile accident?Then it was my turn.
Mr. Belton: Yes, all of us were in a minivan that was hit by an 18-wheeler last year. Although none of us was seriously injured, I tracked down the next-of-kin of the truck driver in order to steal their identities and ruin their financial life by filing false reports with two of the three major credit agencies.
Attorney 2: He’s acceptable, your honor.
Attorney 1: Mr. Harris, I always enjoy your radio show.That was it, I was out of there.
Me: Thank you.
Attorney 1: You’re excused.
Labels: columns